things that don't exist...
Oscar Gamble does exist. The following do not.
filler
We've never met a
songwriter who even once sat down and said, "I'm gonna write some filler
now. I've got a few good songs and now I just need to pad this album out
with crap-ola."
In our experience, trying to write a bad song is one way to
write something good. Anything that takes your focus off the task at
hand. But music critics frequently refer to "filler" as stuff meant
to be second rate for the sake of...something.
selling out
Not that no one ever
decided to reach a wider audience, but "sellout" is a term usually
used scornfully by hippies when one of their favorite acts finally makes a
buck. Just as we've never seen a songwriter consciously write second-rate
"filler," we've also never seen an act try to do something really
crappy because they felt being really crappy sells. They might have tried
something different, but we don't think that deserves the scorn of
hippies jealous their favorite band can now afford their weed.
disrespect
While "surreal" is
probably the most overused word in film school, "disrespect" might be the most
overused word in the real world. More importantly, it's useless. If you're
complaining about being "disrespected," you have too much free time on your
hands and your life is too easy. Having it easy is the worst thing that can happen
to a human being.
'I just want you to be honest with me.'
No you don't. When someone tells you this they actually mean, "tell me what I want to hear." If you don't believe us, try being honest.
relevance of 'art'
Music critics often make reference to the "relevance" of certain albums or "artists." For example, one will write, "With much of (swing band X's) catalog no longer relevant, they're scraping for a more mainstream, power-pop sound." What this actually means is the writer didn't realize the first time around that swing band X isn't very good. Only when the hype of a given fad wears off does 87% of the population hear or see something for what it is. A song is either good or it's not.
the visionary singer/songwriter who channels songs
Many songwriters believe they receive their words, notes and inspiration from a higher place. While there's an aspect of any kind of 'artistic' expression (including but not limited to painting, writing prose and poetry, and acting) where the person involved begins to feel transparent and as if the 'art' flows effortlessly, it's no different than gardening, plumbing, making a birdhouse or mowing the lawn. Songwriters or 'artists' who feel they receive some kind of divine inspiration are very annoying to be around and are never as good as they think. And they're an insult to great carpenters and masons everywhere.
'I don't care what anyone thinks.'
Obviously. Whenever someone tells you how good they are at something, it means they're not very good at it. And whenever someone says they "don't care what anyone thinks," it means they care more than they want.
today's fast-paced world
Anything that follows the phrase,
"In today's fast-paced world," can be ignored. Similarly, anything that
follws the phrase "I gotta be honest with you," is highly suspect. If you
can explain how cellphones, wireless laptops, the home shopping network, iPods and videos
of old men getting hit in the nuts by golf balls have created a "fast-paced
world" that has rendered useless most social conventions and all people and logic
from previous generations (along with all Beatles and Bob Wills songs), please send it to
us (as a .pdf).